Looking back at my previous posts, I realized that my blogging restart is happening about a year after I first began it. I've given myself time to read all of my previous posts again, and I kind of wonder why I stopped blogging. Then again, the only reason why I'm back is because I recently attended a workshop on blogging.
It has been more than a week since I attended a writing workshop and social media seminar held by FEBC Philippines. In the wake of the devastation of typhoon Yolanda and hundreds of papers left unwritten, I reflect upon how much I have let these workshops impact my life.
I ask myself why I let myself in on these workshops. I have done a lot of studying in writing. Why attend another workshop when I know proper grammar and spelling, plot devices, how to make good characters, etc.? The answer might be that I still have a lot to learn.
One of my "classmates" wrote in her workshop piece, "I don't know everything." In fact, my entire life in college was a lesson in humility rather than in math, physics, or communication. I had learned that a lot of people were better than me, and it was a little more than I could handle.
Knowing that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was tore my heart and ego apart. I'm not quite done with this lesson, still picking up the pieces of my past self and almost forcing myself to whisper to each one, "You are only human."
It takes a personal toll to say that to one's self, especially on your self-esteem and satisfaction. I'm amazed I haven't gone totally insane over the experience, and somehow that tells me that I haven't exactly gotten the message quite yet.
This is why I learned quite a lot from the workshop. Back then, I could say that writing was about sharing my own experience -- a point that I probably still believe in. But the speakers thought otherwise: We have to use our writing to reach out to others. This was a mission that I have been scared of taking, in fear that those I handle will be lost because of me. That in trying to be a good influence I would make everything worse.
But while listening to a sermon I heard last Sunday got me to remember something:
That God uses imperfect people.
God will use whoever has given themselves to Him, regardless of their sins or weaknesses. And if no one is around, God is willing to use a goat or a bush!
Either way, whether I write or not, hundreds of others will write. Each of us will try to influence each other. Each of us is trying to have our voice heard among the crowd. As Mother Teresa said, "We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."
It is easy to be discouraged. But it is also as easy to get back up. All you have to do is stop thinking and do what you have to do. And if you are having a hard time blogging or whatever, just do it now, and you can fix the mistakes later. No one really makes a magnum opus on their first try.